bmp 23

I Tell You True

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

Since I watched my daughter perish

She burned to death inside a car

I lost what I most cherish

I saw the angels hold her

As I screamed with useless hope

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

It’s the only way I cope!

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

Since I found my sister dead

She hung herself to stop the rapes

I found her in the shed

The rapist bastard still lives here

Unpunished in this town

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

Since I cut her down.

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

Since my mother passed away.

They found her battered down the creek

I miss her more each day

My family blamed me for her death

Their words have made me wild

I can’t stop drinking, I tell you true

‘Cos I was just a child.

So if you see someone like me

Who’s drunk and loud and cursing

Don’t judge too hard, you never know

What sorrows we are nursing.

Circles and Squares

I was born Yankunytjatjara

My Mother is Yankunytjatjara

Her Mother was Yankunytjatjara

My Family is Yankunytjatjara

I have learnt many things from my Family Elders

I have grown to recognise that my Life travels in Circles

My Aboriginal Culture has taught me that

Universal Life is Circular

When I was born I was not allowed to live with my Family

I grew up in the white man’s world

We lived in a Square house

We picked fruit and vegetables from a neatly fenced Square plot

We kept animals in Square paddocks

We sat and ate at a Square table

We sat on Square chairs

I slept in a Square bed

I looked at myself in a Square mirror and did not know who I was

One day I met my Mother

I just knew that this meeting was part of our Healing Circle

Then I began to travel

I visited places that I had been before

But this time I sat down with Family

We gathered closely Together by big Round campfires

We ate bush tucker, feasting on Round ants and berries

We ate meat from animals that lived in Round burrows

We slept in Circles on beaches around Our fires

We sat in the dirt, on Our Land, that belongs to a big Round planet

We watched the Moon grow to a magnificent yellow Circle

That was Our Time

I have learnt two different ways now

I am thankful for this

That is part of my Life Circle

My heart is Round like a drum, ready to echo the music of my Family

But the Square within me still remains

The Square hole stops me in my entirety.

Grade One Primary

I’m sitting up the tree today

And I’m NOT getting down!

I don’t feel safe at school no more

Just ‘cos my skin is brown.

If I sit here overnight

Will I turn into a bird?

So I can fly away from here

And all the nasty words

‘Cos it’s no fun being different

Where do I fit in?

Some kids at school are nasty

Their words have such a sting.

You half caste dog, you coon, you boong,

You stinking bloody abo,

I don’t know what these words mean -

I know they stab me like an arrow.

I asked my teacher to explain

She just slapped me hard

Then when it was lunchtime

I was pushed over in the yard.

So now I’m sitting up the tree

I’ll hide from everyone.

I don’t understand this place -

I’m only in Grade One!

Ribbons

‘See you’ I said to the children

as I memorised

their Anangu faces

filled with laughter

and trust for family

innocent in their youth

and strong in culture

‘See you’ I said to the Elders

as the tears flow

in my heart

and I bend down

to shake their hands

and gain my strength

by skin

‘See you’ I said at Murputja

and the dust from my car

as I drove away

was like a ribbon

across the desert sand

tying me to that place

forever

Intervention Pay Day

I love my wife she right skin for me pretty one my wife young one found her at the

next community over across the hills little bit long way not far

and from there she give me good kids funny kids mine we always laughing all together

and that wife she real good mother make our wali real nice flowers and grass patch

and chickens I like staying home with my kids

and from there I build cubby house yard for the horse see I make them things from left

overs from the dump all the left overs from fixing the houses and all the left overs I

build cubby house and chicken house

and in the house we teach the kids don’t make mess go to school learn good so you can

work round here later good job good life and the government will leave you alone

and from there tjamu and nana tell them the story when the

government was worse rations government make all the rules but don’t know culture can’t sit in the sand oh tjamu and nana they got the best story we always laughing us mob

and from there night time when we all asleep all together on the grass patch dog and cat

and kids my wife and me them kids they ask really good questions about the olden days about today them real ninti them kids they gunna be right

and from there come intervention John Howard he make new rules he never even

come to see us how good we was doing already Mal Brough he come with the army

we got real frightened true thought he was gonna take the kids away just like tjamu and

nana bin tell us

I run my kids in the sand hills took my rifle up there and sat but they was all just lying

changing their words all the time wanting meeting today and meeting tomorrow we was

getting sick of looking at them so everyone put their eyes down and some even shut their ears

and from there I didn’t care too much just kept working fixing the housing being happy

working hard kids go to school wife working hard too didn’t care too much we was

right we always laughing us mob all together

but then my wife she come home crying says the money in quarantine but I didn’t know why

they do that we was happy not drinking and fighting why they do that we ask the

council to stop the drinking and protect the children hey you know me ya bloody mongrel

I don’t drink and I look after my kids I bloody fight ya you say that again hey settle

down we not saying that Mal Brough saying that don’t you watch the television he

making the rules for all the mobs every place Northern Territory he real cheeky whitefella

but he’s the boss we gotta do it

and from there I tell my wife she gets paid half half in hand half in the store her money in

the store now half and half me too all us building mob but I can’t buy tobacco or

work boots you only get the meat and bread just like the mission

days just like tjamu and nana tell us

and from there I went to the store to get meat for our supper

but the store run out only tin food left so I asked for some bullets I’ll go shoot my own meat but sorry they said you gotta buy food that night I slept hungry and I slept by myself thinking about it

and from there the government told us our job was finish the government been give us the sack

we couldn’t believe it we been working CDEP for years slow way park the truck

at the shed just waiting for something for someone with tobacco

the other men’s reckon fuck this drive to town for the grog but I stayed with my kids

started watching the television trying to laugh not to worry just to be like yesterday

and from there the politician man says I give you real job tells me to work again

but different only half time sixteen hours but I couldn’t understand it was the same job as

before but more little less pay and my kids can’t understand when they come home

from school why I cant buy the lolly for them like I used to before I didn’t want to tell

them I get less money for us now

and from there they say my wife earns too much money I gonna miss out again I’m

getting sick of it don’t worry she says I’ll look after you but I know that’s not right way

I’m getting shame my brother he shame too he goes to town drinking leaves his wife

behind leaves his kids

and from there I drive round to see tjamu he says his money in the store too poor bloke

he can’t even walk that far and I don’t smile I look at that old man he lost his smile too

but nana she cook the damper and tail she trying to smile she always like that

and from there when I get home my wife gone to town with the sister in law she gone

look for my brother he might be stupid on the grog he not used to it she gotta find him

might catch him with another woman make him bleed drag him home

and from there my wife she come back real quiet tells me she went to casino them

others took her taught her the machines she lost all the money she lost her laughing

and from there all the kids bin watching us quiet way not laughing around so we all go

swimming down the creek all the families there together we happy again

them boys we take them shooting chasing the malu in the car we real careful with the

gun not gonna hurt my kids no way

and from there my wife she sorry she back working hard save the money kids gonna

get new clothes I gonna get my tobacco and them bullets but she gone change again

getting her pay forgetting her family forget yesterday only thinking for town with the

sister in law

and my wife she got real smart now drive for miles all dressed up going to the casino with them other kungkas for the Wednesday night draw

I ready told you I love my kids I only got five two pass away already and I not

complaining bout looking after my kids no way but when my wife gets home if she spent

all the money not gonna share with me and the kids

I might hit her first time

wali – house

tjamu – grandfather

ninti – clever

malu – kangaroo

kungkas – women