blackmail press 39
Courtney Sina Meredith
New Zealand

Four Steps To Standing on a Horse - Penny Howard - 2014
Courtney Sina Meredith was the Bleibtreu Berlin writer in residence 2011, she launched her first book of poetry 'Brown Girls in Bright Red Lipstick' at the Frankfurt Bookfair 2012. In 2014 she was invited to the House of Lords by the BBC. Her play Rushing Dolls was published by Playmarket in 2012 and recently selected for Silo Theatre's Working Titles programme 2015. She has an upcoming residency at the Sylt Foundation (Germany) in 2016.

Small War

Here are two cones side by side on a path that would otherwise flow
pink scar tissue
the backs of young men
whose legacies spawn
brittle moments

you and even her the one foreword
premising most things
through an impression you have of density
kind of belong to this wound

out of love motels and dead leaves the rune
ponying porn vendors
astutely considered
mild mannered

well a lot of men like him
closed their eyes
on boys and girls
burned to the ground.


fire glow
two closed
by night
the white
city becomes
another mouth. 

I wait for you
in un-time
marsh green
bird grieves
the fleeing

moon turns
in her sleep
soft beyond
just white
mouth becomes
another city.

lies in the south
overlooking the Tiber
full of other people's memories
carried in the body
that wanders


Can you hold
the lived
empty space
nothing but dark

beauty, inland sea
and the ruined
peaks at a loss
myself, somehow

done without
what makes
the water

I recongise
the centre

like nothing
I fell into
or took up

to live you again
dear ancient.

Self portrait 2014

It's all those
poems under porches
friends out of orbit
(up a garden path
down by a river)
there, behind the ribs
whatever else is lurking
more poems waiting to be made.

So her aunty visits and takes off her shoes
they sit on the big brown couch
how is your heart?

a lot of running around, that's how it feels.

The day before last she could hear waves
silly because the coast is far off
and the visitors sitting around the island
in her mother's brand new kitchen
know about a dying boy
but they don't know about her.

It was bright behind the eyes
letting sounds waves roll
up and down her body
going somewhere north
out of the mouth of clouds.

War Chest

of a country
a physical smothering
spring breakup of the ice.

A reserve of funds used for fighting a war.
Unsecured wireless connection.
A state of conflict. A state of love.

One child fathered illegitimately. Hero baby.
Rain clouds looming. A call made from a horse.
A program used to find phone numbers that connect to a modem
without seeking permission. A game played by children.

Grain direction

First I choose a spine that boasts DEATH in upper case
turn its torso, delight in graphic Spain

route canal, actual impression (the way to doom)
path to enlightenment and a lot of fluff that helps the author.

A balding blue anorak man
wets his lips next to me reading TV
scripted experience

for some reason the poetry in my head
is narrated by Obama

we hold the same accused
dead hair pages

nothing good nothing bad
journeys that collapse
cold words, unsaid highways.

I come home to find you're still there
between my hands and the kettle
is on with slanted rain outside

like every passage I couldn't recall
becomes crystal clear:
the hollow of your chest
echoes every word.