blackmail press 40
Courtney Sina Meredith
first published issue 23

The fecund people - Andy Leleisi'uao 2014
Courtney Sina Meredith was the Bleibtreu Berlin writer in residence 2011, she launched her first book of poetry 'Brown Girls in Bright Red Lipstick' at the Frankfurt Bookfair 2012. In 2014 she was invited to the House of Lords by the BBC. Her play Rushing Dolls was published by Playmarket in 2012 and recently selected for Silo Theatre's Working Titles programme 2015. She has an upcoming residency at the Sylt Foundation (Germany) in 2016.
Cause Fishing

That chic in my office with the ponytail 
better stop mincing her church skirt

red dirt in Uganda, red Earth on skulls
the mouth is a revolver, shooting letters back home


my gut is green with peas
catholic silver beet
& dusty whales

huts in the lounge, plaid sheets
thick with crumbs
we’re up against the mirror
pony backing height

still, you bear plagues
still, I don’t see in the dark.. 

I want a mentor who won’t whore me out
New York swoop
-I’ll empty my pockets for short trips to memory

trying to stay friends
with names in my phone

trying to fall
in love with brains.

Another hall/ community jaw
families smiling in their debt

how grown
the credits are 
when the show ends.

Nestled against my collar bone
red beads from the city of Tonga

all words I want for myself
turn in the night

the tide has no father.

When I’m old my sisters will carry umbrellas

& beat
the sun
& bait
the moon

give my scattered organs
a breast to come home to.

I’m calling it
‘cause fishing’
pink flames dancing
every body wants

a monster

in the kitchen
a voice
heating oil.

Stop bringing your body round home
hiding it in under my sheets
saying the roads are too bruised, this time of year

I’m no good at giving change

I would not time travel
give my younger self

a chance.