The Write Fight

It is one of the push nights
Where you fight to write

On nights like this
The quill seems to hate you
Make you
Doubt your next line

Empty page taunts
Your will

But if you’re persistent
It begins to fold
One line after another
Breaks down its hold

The candle burns
And bears witness to the ordeal

Your vigor to overcome
And make your dreams real

Know you always have something to say
Even if these words do not make
The light of day
Whether paint or clay
Carve out your mark before the light takes you away

Change the physics of the world you know
And bring ideas out from below

Maybe one human will read
And these words will bring the motivation they need

Maybe you could shape
The world and it’s fate

If you could push
One more line out of your soul
To tell the story
Of a man
Who wants to die old

To leave a mark in stone
Of a fight that was won.


Is there a God?

I have been let d
                                by A Ω
He told I He loved I
There r 2 options
Either He lied
or my own kind did?
Mayb there was never a A Ω ?
Mayb it was a human    T ?
                                      U   C
                                      T    R
                                      N   S
                                      C   O
It is an elaborate story of hope laced with control. To be called to a faith that assumes you are unworthy of love. It is weird to have persecution and love at the same time. If I do not believe in Christianity, am I less of a human? Do I not have the ability to love? The amount of fear and harm that has come into human history in the name of God is tremendous. A community that portrays freedom and then locks people in spiritual chains. I do see good people in church, but I do not believe it was church that was the reason. I believe it is the choice of the individual. I have messed up in life and I have searched the Bible for answers. It does have some good ideals, loving thy neighbour is perfect and assisting those who are in need is a no brainer. But not loving those who are queer? Or a God that would condemn an entire nation to death and destruction? I really do not know how to process this and for years I felt less because of it. I want to believe in something, but I cannot in full confidence believe Christianity and therefore I remain in the land of a sinner.

I do look up into the
                                 <      > s
and I wonder where my place is.
And I do know that there is power         b       e       y       o       n       d
I c it in a flower. I c it in the sky. I c it in a conversation where I connect and understand. I know it is true. I am a small
                                    in this world.
But even as insignificant as I am. I call to the Maker of this world and ask that He, She or They help us find some meaning and hope in this DLROW

In all honesty, I hope there is someone/something stronger than me, that loves me.

Carlos Toali'i
I write as if in a diary. I have no formal training but enjoy using words in a way that combines visual art. I aim to blur the line between the two.

I work as a gallery technician and only recently rekindled writing as a form of expression. I take my influences, not from writing, but conversations with family and friends.

These are examples of the twist and turns I find as I move through personal worlds.