Radhika
Henna smudges on
“Ethnic” skin
And the bright colours of
The salwar kameezes
I do not wear
Mehndi, steeping in tea with lemon
“I was a teenager too once, you know”
It feels like a lifetime ago
When I was a child
Radhika
Looked up at you
With wide brown eyes
And you rubbed coconut oil into my hair
Telling me that I was the prettiest girl
-
Getting ready for weddings and
Straightening my hair
Was the most exciting thing
And
When, thick chokers, dangling earrings,
Beads and diamonds
Glittered
Like starstruck eyes
At the tattooed bride
And her nervous groom,
Eyes as wide as mine were
Nuzzled into the smell of opium
Stuck in mamma’s heavy shawl
Deep seated in, ivory bones,
It was there
Faith
I was there
But I
Grew
Up
.
Pining for the miasma of incense sticks
Burning
And the warmth of mama’s scarves
But the temple
Full of people
Strangers
Screams
Overbearing
And empty
And radi
Doesn’t
Pray
For home
Anymore
Please don’t stay in my heart
Please don’t stay in my heart
Once you are gone
For I do not think I could stand
The ghost of you
And the Polaroid memories
That I had burned into the corners of my mind
Please do not stay in my heart
Once you are gone
Because the chairs in my apartment will be empty
And my eyes will be full
Of the tears I’d not the mind to shed
When you were once around
Please do not stay in my heart
When you are gone
For I will spend the next Christmas
Staring down into my wine glass
Wondering why
This year
Of all years
I’d only the need to purchase one bottle
And nothing more
Please do not stay in my heart
Once you are gone
For in your absence
My heart will stutter
Please do not stay in my heart
Once you are gone
For the tingling in my bones
Will grow into a tremor
In memory of your effervescent
Hands and body
You have been written into my system
Your topography etched into my ribs
Where you touched my heart
For the very first time
So please I beg of you
Don’t stay in my heart
Once you are gone
For I will no longer be searching for you
But the ghosts of the person I once was
And their slow decent
Into a maddening love with you
A reminder of a distant stranger
From a place that can never exist
Please
Do not stay in my heart
Once you are gone
For I will be writing poems about you
Long after
You’ve
Left
